Tolstoy's Classic
by cloudofcalm
Summary: When Lily Evans goes after headship of the prefects, James must head her off. Any way possible...


A/N: When Lily Evans runs for the Head of Prefects, James has to come up with a way to stop her. Even trying to date her.  
  
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Lilian Evans bit the top of her quill viciously, and chewed on it, yelping as ink spurted from the stem over her tongue.  
  
"That's disgusting," she spluttered, looking at Bella, her face twisted with revulsion, and her nose screwed up. She flung down the remains of her quill across her parchment, then her eyes widened as she caught sight of the ink blots now spattering her homework.  
  
"Damn, blast, sod it to hell," she muttered, wildly trying to pat up the ink. However, in an attempt to help her daughter with her schoolwork, and having seen Lily's handwriting before, her proud mother had bought her a term's supply of 'Mrs Nesbit's fast-dry no smudge ink', and the ink blots stubbornly refused to move.  
  
"I think that's why you're not supposed to eat your quill," Bella said thoughtfully, a small smile curling on her face. Her blue eyes danced at her friend. "It tends to have that effect."  
  
"Shut up," Lily ordered, scrubbing at the parchment now. She let out a little wail of exasperation as it remained splotchy, hiding her essay on the many uses of rowan in wards. With a brighter expression, she pulled out her wand from her school bag, and pulled up her sleeves.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Bella yawned, resting her chin on her palm, looking disinterestedly around the library. It was another wet lunchtime at Hogwarts, and the young, and mousy librarian, Madam Pince, who always looked too scared to say 'boo' to a goose, had given up trying to maintain quiet.  
  
"Dextrus extratis," Lily said confidently, pointing her wand. Her green eyes widened in horror, and she went milky pale as the ink-blots, along with her essay, disappeared into thin air. She squeaked in panic, gesturing soundlessly at Bella, who was having trouble breathing herself, for laughing.  
  
"Uh, Lily?" she spluttered, through choked laughter. "Satan at nine o'clock."  
  
Hastily the redheaded witch shoved the parchment beneath a pile of textbooks, perched on the edge of the table. She would be damned if Potter found out that she'd just obliterated a DADA essay, one she'd spent three hours on already.  
  
"I don't know why you find him so bad," Bella mused, returning to her normal composure, resting her chin back into the cup of her hand, and letting her blue eyes find Lily's. "I think he's quite tasty, actually."  
  
"So nice to have your approval, Figg," a voice drawled from behind her, laced with humour. "Not so bad yourself." James Potter, his hair artfully ruffled, a pile of books under one arm not detracting from his oh-so-cool image. Lily glowered on reflex. It was between her and James this year, to become Head of Gryffindor House Prefects, and if the stuck up braggart won, she'd do something terrible, and wicked, and involving losing house points.  
  
"Evans," he inclined his head. She lifted her chin defiantly, and regarded him disdainfully. Any moment now, he would find something sarcastic, or really idiotic to say. James Potter might be good with a broom between his legs, but with charisma, he was sadly lacking.  
  
"Bite me," she answered evenly. James let out a low whistle, his eyebrows shooting up in disbelief. Sirius nudged Remus behind their intrepid leader.  
  
"Evans, never knew you had it in you," he said admiringly. "Mind you, not exactly interested in biting myself. Care to give a hand?"  
  
"Correction, Potter," she spat out his name as if it was in actual fact the insult she considered it. "You don't know me. And get one of your fan club to help. Count me out."  
  
With that, she shoved back her chair, scooped up her armload of books, and stormed out, her head held high. And crashed into a low stack of books Madam Pince had left ready to stack. She clamped her lips shut, to stop a pained whimper escape, and tried to resurrect the haughty exit.  
  
"Ah," James sighed appreciatively. "She's got it for me. I can tell."  
  
Sirius raised an eyebrow at Remus in a questioning look.  
  
"Uh, James, mate," he began, in a faintly amused tone, "Much as I appreciate your status as the sex god of the year, how can you tell she fancies you from blind hatred?" Remus had a mild expression, but then you could never tell what the older boy was thinking.  
  
James patted Sirius's shoulder soothingly.  
  
"You just can't see the raving attraction," he said dreamily, gazing off after Lily. "She wants me. It's in there. Why else would there be all that passion?"  
  
"Passion?" Remus said politely. "I thought it was a combination of annoyance, irritation, and dislike."  
  
James scowled. "She wants me," he repeated firmly. Sirius rolled his eyes.  
  
"What are you doing now, Bella?" he asked, disinterestedly, as the girl packed up her own belongings. Arabella looked up, and raised one eyebrow.  
  
"Well I'm not hanging around with lovesick here," she jerked her thumb at James. James frowned indignantly.  
  
"I'm not lovesick! She is!" he protested. Sirius patted his arm. "Yes, James."  
  
"Anyway, when she pulls off a storming-out routine, I generally follow. Only after a suitable five minute interval. Gets rid of the hexing, fuming, and all the other results of an encounter with Studly here," she explained, with a good-natured grin.  
  
She followed her friend out, leaving the three standing there, thoughtfully.  
  
"Y'know, mate, if you intend to get that Headship, you're going to have to distract Evans," Sirius reminded, idly twiddling the remains of Lily's ruined quill in his fingers. James' eyes widened.  
  
"Sodding hell. She's not going after it, is she?" They nodded.  
  
"Right. Forget her raving crush on me. This is war," he said grimly.  
  
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A/N: No updates til you review!! 


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